There are a lot of dynamics that go into human relationships. Whether it is marriage, a relationship between parent and child, or even relationships among friends and coworkers, relationship dynamics are affected by everything from individual personalities to worldviews. For example, narcissism can negatively affect all sorts of relationships.
It can be difficult to know that a person has narcissistic tendencies at the first meeting. In fact, it is not unusual for couples to be together for quite some time before one figure out the other is a narcissist. The damage can already be done by that time. But with the right kind of help and a willingness to put in the effort, even a relationship damaged by narcissism can be saved.
More About Narcissism
Narcissism is a mental health issue that can be clinically diagnosed. It is considered a personality disorder in which people have an unrealistic belief in their own importance. Narcissists tend to crave attention and admiration. They tend to lack empathy for others. In some cases, they even thrive on troubled relationships as much as they can get sympathy from others.
All sorts of relationships can be damaged by narcissism. According to the counselors at Rye, NY’s Relationships & More, narcissism is sometimes a component in broken marriage relationships. You could say that narcissism is a potential poison to an otherwise happy marriage.
Striving for Impossible Perfection
One of the more harmful aspects of narcissism is its tendency to cause people to strive for impossible perfection. This sort of thing is observed in couples’ counseling all the time. Narcissistic individual believes themself to be nearly perfect while viewing their partner as much less so. The partner strives to be the perfect person the narcissist wants them to be but can never succeed in doing so.
Living with a narcissist can leave a person feeling deflated, worthless, and unable to achieve anything of value. Though that is not really the case, the person’s emotions are pretty convincing. It can take a lot to come out from underneath the weight of striving to achieve perfection.
A Total Lack of Empathy
Hand-in-hand with the narcissist’s inflated view of themself is a lack of empathy for others – even their spouse or partner. In a normal relationship, one partner would empathize with the other, knowing that all human beings have shortcomings. The narcissist doesn’t see things that way. The narcissist believes that everyone has shortcomings but them. Because they do not recognize their own shortcomings, they cannot empathize with others in theirs.
This can be terribly damaging to any relationship. A lack of empathy also means a lack of connection. It can mean a lack of support, both emotionally and physically. Narcissism can leave the narcissist feeling unfulfilled and their partner feeling unloved and unwanted.
Narcissism and Manipulation
Perhaps the most destructive aspect of narcissism is its tendency to cause the narcissist to manipulate other people. Narcissists tend to be warm, charming people capable of manipulating others without their knowledge. As someone married to a narcissist, it can be earth-shattering to realize how long such manipulation has been going on.
The manipulative aspects of narcissism can be enough to destroy any relationship. However, that’s not necessarily a given. Once a person figures out that they are being manipulated by a narcissist, there are things that can be done.
Needless to say, living with a narcissist is not easy. However, narcissists can be helped. Marriages involving narcissism can be saved if both parties are willing to put in the time and effort. It starts with couples’ counseling and recognition that narcissism exists.
